Sick

Sunday, the day after the Circus wedding it hit me. I woke up completely blocked and my face was swollen like a big round moon. My throat was soar and I felt weak.

Monday I was worse, had a high temperature and when I phoned my boss to say I was sick he could hardly hear what I said, that’s how hoarse I was.

Tuesday – ALL symptoms were gone! No blocked nose, not a trace of fever and my throat was perfect. It was strange, I still felt weak so I allowed myself an extra day to sleep instead of going to work.

Then came Wednesday and Thursday, funnily I was weaker and felt very odd, something was wrong, I felt dizzy and faint. But still no other symptoms, I was by now beginning to have a bad conscious about not going to work cause outwardly I looked perfect.

So on Friday I went to work, got there a bit late of course (only 3 hours), sat at my desk, switched on the computer and felt weird. Then I fainted. Sort of semi fainted anyway, caught myself before I hit the floor.

Fainting is a very fascinating experience, the hard floor under ones feet suddenly turns into wobbly jelly and colours and shapes shift back and fro, swaying or are warped out of proportion.

Anyway a nurse took my blood pressure and it turned out to be pretty low (90/60), I was recommended to lay down or go home. Now an interesting thing happened, my mother called and when she found out she freaked! This may be a normal thing for a mother to do, when they find out their child is sick. But my mother has never actually enjoyed that part of motherhood. Only rarely did she believe us if we were sick and to pamper a sick child was not her thing. My father on the other hand was the one who bought us ice cream if we had a cold and sat on the balcony with my sister wrapped up in blankets all night when she couldn’t breath from asthma attacks.

But this Friday my mother freaked out for a little low blood pressure and rushed over to take me home by car.

Saturday and Sunday were pretty much spent in bed and by now I was getting annoyed cause my head was completely clear, I was not tired, on the contrary I was full of energy. But my mother was worried and this as I’ve already mentioned was odd.

Monday – I had promised to call my very kind but mumbling doctor and ask him about it. Our conversation went something like this:

- Hi Doc! I don’t feel very well. I feel strange.
- Hmm.. ok..mmm…so what are your symptoms?
- Well that’s the thing I don’t really have any, I just feel really really weak.
- No symptoms? Fever?
- No fever, only one day. No I just feel strange, weak, as if I have a temperature but without the actual fever. Do you know what I mean?
- Ehh..no…
- Oh… Well it feels a bit like walking on candyfloss and rotating at the same time. Do you understand?
- Well, actually I don’t.
- Oh…How about if I’m walking on a spinning cloud or like on a gigantic pannacotta?
- No, I am sorry, I don’t know what you mean. Do you have any pain anywhere?
- No, no pain. But my arms - especially the left one – and legs fall asleep all the time. You know “pins and needles”, but it will occur for no reason. Oh and my blood pressure is low 90/60 and has been for some days now.
- Oh, hmm… I don’t know…mumble mumble…heart…mumble…mumble… test…
- Eh? Sorry? Did you say heart?
- Hmm…yes, I think you better come and have some tests on your heart. I don’t have any times left but I will let you come in after practice, I think I should see you soon. How does Thursday sound to you?

So Thursday it is. Great. Finally I will find out exactly what is wrong with me.

No. No. That is not my heart you can hear thump at night when I can’t sleep for worrying.
No, I am fine really, what?
Why I am rubbing my left arm?
Oh its just a bit cold and I lost the feeling in it strangely enough.
But it will be back soon.

No worries.