Re-visiting Dr Mumble

- Welcome! Come in, have a seat!
(I sit and tremble)
- So…you wanted to see me about some headaches you had a few months ago…
- NO!
- Oh? Let’s see… (doctor scrolls on his computer) Ahh…here it is. You came to see me in the winter about something…
- NOO! I was here just ten days ago!
- Were you?! Oh! Hmmm…
- You took loads of blood samples and tests and stuff…
- Ahh…yes…maybe… But I haven’t got the results back yet…
- What?! You said you’d get them on Thrusday and that you’d call me, which you didn’t!
- Oh! Hmm… (doctor franticly clicks the mouse)…AHH! Here they are! The results… Lets see... Ah yes I can see that you’ve had encephalitis (Sw. hjärnhinneinflammation) before…
- What?! No, I’ve never had encephalitis!
- Well according to this, you have antibodies against it so you must have had it before!
- No, I’ve never had encephalitis before and besides I am vaccinated against encephalitis so maybe that is why you can see the antibodies?
- No! You’ve had encephalitis.
(I shake my head and sigh)
- Ok, but other than that, there is nothing wrong with you. So I guess you must be feeling better?
- NO! Nothing has changed! I still feel faint and half my body still goes numb.
- Oh?! Well then…hmm…maybe I’ll take some more tests for Lyme disease (Sw. Borelia).
- But you already took those tests?!
- Yes but they were negative, so I’ll take them again.
- But you know, I’ve been thinking I think all of this has to do with my back, muscles that are inflamed or a nerve that has become crushed or something…
- No.
- What do you mean “No”. You haven’t examined my back! I always have problems with my back.
- No I don’t think it’s your back. I think it is Lyme disease. Have you been bitten by a tick?
- No never!
- We will still do the test. I’ll just call someone…

The doctor then proceeds to call (by speaker phone) another doctor at a big hospital for a second opinion. In this conversation my doctor tells him about my encephalitis and is told directly “Well isn’t that because she has been vaccinated” Whereupon my doctor mumbles something and turns bright red. End of conversation.

- Look Dr Mumble, I still think it has something to do with my back because if someone touches the muscles around my shoulder blade I feel even worse and something like an electrical current runs down my arm.
- Nooo…I don’t think it is your back.
- But…
- No buts. Listen, we will do this Lyme disease test again and if it is still negative we will send you for a CT scan.
- A CT Scan?!
- Yes, to look at you brain!
- I know what a CT scan is! Why do you want to do a CT scan?!
- Well, it could be that you’ve had a brain haemorrhage or stroke.
- WHAT?!
- Yes…but a very small one (doctor shows with his thumb and index finger how small).
- Fuck you!