The Most Perfect Morning

The most perfect day begins with waking up after sleeping. Waking up after sleeping should not be overrated. Then stretching and rubbing away sleep from the eyes is nice. A perfect morning is waking up in a silent house. The sound of someone else pottering around in a kitchen or bathroom is the worst. To get up and meet a cheery face and have to do small talk, be nice or even smile is very difficult before breakfast.

The most perfect breakfast is eggs in one way or another and bread – I can NOT do yesterday’s leftovers from dinner or a take away pizza – bread is a must and eggs, second best is feta cheese, red onion and tomatoes and just a pinch of black pepper.

But before I can have the most perfect breakfast I have to do the most essential act – the washing of dishes.

The most perfect place to do dishes is with a window to look out of. It is also nice to talk to someone who is sitting nearby - but do not try to help me.
It disturbs my order. The kind and helpful words of “You wash and I dry” stresses me out no end. To do dishes under stress “hurryhurry so the person drying doesn’t have to wait for the next item” or the other way round “Slowslow because there’s a mountain of stuff waiting to be dried” - this is not ideal.

For the most sublime dish washing experience on an ideal morning I want a sponge with a scouring pad on one side. Not a brush - splatters too much. Nor a cloth – freaky texture.
Another important thing is the dish washing liquid. It should be a nice smelling and a very foamy dish washing liquid. I would like it to be environmental friendly but usually and unfortunately these are not foamy enough.
Then there are the different colours of liquids. Blue is a nice unnatural colour but it smells of “Sea Breeze” i.e. salty and very perfumed, like a sweaty brat on a beach – which is not so nice. Then there are the weird colours of pearly white or yellow. These are the two most strange colours for washing up liquids. I mean who imagines dishes will become clean from washing in a spermy substance or something that resembles snot? Even though these have an “Apple Bloosom” or “Lemon and Lime” fragrance they can’t fool me. Green works the best for me I must admit, probably some sort of brainwashing from the “Fairy Liquid” commercials on English television in the beginning of the 90:ies.

The left side of the sink has to be empty and clean, this is the area for the clean items to dry. If this area is already cluttered with cleaned and dried items this might cause a problem. Because even though I love washing dishes, putting clean dishes in the cupboards is less rewarding and I tend to not do this step of the procedure. If I am lucky I have a friend, sister or partner who understands my aversion of putting stuff in the cupboards and does this for me.

The right side of the sink and the sink will be filled with everything waiting for a cleansing.

And then I wash. When the actual washing occurs my mind wanders; goes into a blank or daydreams, it is like meditating. I don’t know what I think about but I always figure things out when washing, it is second best to taking a shower. Most of my answers to mathematical problems or issues in relationships come in a shower or whilst washing dishes.

Then finally after dishes are done or semi done (cause the left side of the sink has become too cluttered for more dishes to dry) it will be time for my perfect breakfast as mentioned above. Which should be enjoyed in silence. A newspaper is ideal but if this is not possible, reading five or six news sites on the internet is great.

Bliss.