Setting:
Around 1 a.m.
On the Underground packed with partied-over people.
My friend and I have just taken our seats.
Action!
As the train door closes with an accompanying beep, a scruffy looking man without a jacket or bag rushes in - just in time. After him and holding on to him, a well dressed guy squeezes in, forcing the closed doors to open.
Doors close.
Fight begins.
Scruffy looking man is holding a CD-walkman in his right hand and trying to keep the dressy looking man off him with his left hand.
Dressy man - jeans, chocolate brown pin-striped vest and jacket, is also holding on to the CD-walkman and trying to hit Scruffy whilst shouting “Give me my CD player! What the fuck!? You can’t just take my player from my pocket you idiot! Let go!”
Us witnesses, can also see ear plugs in the Dressy’s ears and the end of them swinging unplugged by his waist.
Enter young Punk Girl, about sixteen years old. She looks like a boy with short curly hair and Sid Viscous on her leather jacket. Punk Girl is the first to react, springing in-between the two fighting guys screaming “STOP! Calm down! Stop!” Another man rushes forward from the other end of the train and grabs Dressy from behind. After a scuffling dance for four, Scruffy finally lets go and runs off down the wagon. Dressy stands panting with his CD-player in hand.
Everybody sighs with relief.
Dressy straightens his clothes.
Then:
Suddenly Dressy roars. Rips his bag, jacket, vest and t-shirt off, throws them on the floor and still roaring, charges after Scruffy.
Repeat action without CD-player and lesser clothes.
After this colourful display late at night I started to wonder.
A cockerel pulls himself up and bushes his feathers to signal that his fight is getting serious. An elephant folds its ears out to frighten off his rival. A gorilla thumps his chest and roars to threaten others. Does a male human takes his clothes off on the upper part of his body to start the action?
I know that some of you will say “well no, not really, it is much more comfortable to fight without clothes , the swing in the punch will get better etc” and yes this is true. But really! In the middle of a fight the instinct is not to get undressed. Your instinct is to hit or avoid getting hit.
And how does one do this, with hands caught up behind ones back, struggling to get a jacket off?
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